I relate to Kate Winslet’s character in “The Holiday” on a spiritual level. Especially when she says “I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should.” Yes, I think about the fact that I’m not in a relationship way too often. 2016 is my mark of being single for the first time in 4 years. Although I am literally the only one in my group of close friends who is not in a relationship, I know I’m not the only 24 year old girl out there in my position. Here’s the truth about it. As independent as we may be, we probably don’t actually want to be single (unless fresh out of a relationship). We’ve learned to be so independent because we have to be and that is what makes me really grateful for this season of my life. Growing up I was the girl my friends all thought would get married first, probably because I have this innate need to nurture people. In some ways I am still that girl, but since I am not married (and no where near it), life has pushed me to become a version of myself that I’m still learning and discovering more about each day. Spoiler alert: she’s actually pretty cool.
Being single is scary as hell at times. There’s the fear that you’ll never actually meet the person you’re supposed to spend your life with or if he even exists. There’s the fear that you might actually have to go through your whole life alone, slowly becoming a cat lady even though you're a dog person, because at times it feels like your only other option is to settle (yeaaahhh that’s gonna be a no for me). There’s the self-doubt that makes you wonder “what is wrong with me?” as you watch yet another engagement pop up in your social feed. It gets lonely. It’d be nice to have someone to do the little everyday things with like going to the grocery store, making breakfast, or binging on a TV series. But with that being said, when you’re not caught up in fears about the future, the independence is quite honestly life-changing. I mean, I get to choose every meal, every movie, and plan my day according to no one’s schedule but my own. If you’re anything like me being single will force you out of your comfort zone because you sure as hell aren’t going to wait around for a good significant other to do all of the things that you want to do. It will open your mind to endless possibilities and directions to take with your life. A fresh perspective that you may not have otherwise had…like what if growing up, falling in love, getting married, and starting a family isn’t what life is all about at all?
I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum by now. I know what it’s like to walk away from someone and I know what it’s like to be walked away from. I love that I can say I’m truly thankful for both. These experiences have made me a strong woman who never has to rely on anyone else for fulfillment or happiness and I think that’s kind of awesome. If you’re in the same shoes, my advice would be to A) embrace this period of independence! Live it out fully and intentionally so that when you do meet your person, you are the best possible version of yourself for them. B) Don’t give up hope! And C) please don’t take it too seriously. Violet Benson (daddyissuesla on snapchat) has taught me that poking fun at yourself while you're single is hands down the best way to deal. I’ve kind of devoted my Twitter feed to that lately, it’s fun you guys.
If you’re married/dating someone, be thankful everyday for that person, but if you're single AF laugh about it, cry about it, and grow from it cause that’s the only way you’ll make a bomb S.O. for the right person someday :)
✌out Girl Scouts. xx
Photos: Stills by Hernan